A Modest Proposal for a UCF-USF Rivalry Trophy

Earlier this week, UConn took the outwardly hilarious and evidently self-unaware step of creating an actual trophy for a supposed “rivalry” with UCF. Look at this:

This is apparently the brainchild of UConn head coach Bob Diaco, who said following the Huskies’ upset win over UCF in Hartford last season:

“But we’re excited about this north-south battle. [We] want to call it the Civil Conflict.”

Tuesday, Diaco was more complimentary of his counterpart in Orlando, saying in an email to the Hartford Courant:

“The Civil Conflict will be no different. The challenge was born out of an ultimate respect for Coach [George] O’Leary and the football product UCF has built.”

That’s all nice and stuff, but the fact that the Civil Conflict is a thing caught even UCF by surprise. From an email from UCF’s spokesperson, Brian Ormiston:

“UCF did not have any involvement in the creation of a trophy or an annual rivalry game with UConn. We are excited to continue the series with the Huskies here in Orlando in October.”

For the record, UCF and UConn have played exactly twice, splitting both meetings: A 62-17 beatdown by UCF in Orlando in 2013, and last year’s mess of a game in Hartford.

This begs a question that Brandon Helwig (and a few others) posed regarding UCF’s real rival, USF – Mainly, why is there no trophy for that game?

This is a worthy question, and one we will attempt to solve here.

We know the UCF/USF football game as the “I-4 War.” So why not really make it about I-4, with the help of the state?

A modest proposal:

Here’s how it would work, and we’ve already thought all this out:

  • The winner of the annual game would have every Interstate-4 sign replaced with one in its colors, as you see above.
  • The stretch of I-4 in question would run from Sanford (Exit 104) to the western terminus at the 275 Interchange, just south of USF’s campus. (If anyone knows exactly how many of those there are on that stretch, let us know)
  • The signs in question would only be the stand-alone Interstate shields you see every few miles or so to remind you what road you’re on – not the ones on the big exit signs.
  • It would take two crews one day to take care of the whole stretch of highway.

Obviously, it would take the cooperation of the Florida Department of Highway Safety and Motor Vehicles, the Florida Department of Transportation (and its Central Florida and West Central Florida District offices), and a nod from the Federal Department of Transportation as well. But some donor can come up with the money for the signs, no?

And hey, if the Feds say no, we can make an actual trophy with two sides to it for the winner to display proudly in their display case, like they do up north:

Little Brown Jug
The Little Brown Jug, fought over by Michigan and Minnesota. (Photo: MVictors.com)

Who says no? UConn?