“This book is 100 percent me and it allows people to see how I was able to navigate and journey through to my healing”
For over 31 years Tommi Vincent has ridden along in the passenger seat as her husband Troy drove to a five-time Pro Bowl career as one of the best cornerbacks in the NFL and more recently as the league’s executive vice president of football operations.
Now Tommi has taken the wheel as the author of her first book, “The Table of Life’’ a part memoir, part cookbook which entails her life as a teenage mother, her battles with depression and the good times that go along with being the wife of a NFL star.
“The Table of Life’’ will hit bookstores, Nov. 4, but is available now through presale on Amazon or at Barnes and Noble.
“This is Tommi’s season,’’ Troy said. “After two years in her prayer room, leaning into God, she’s chosen to share what she’s learned — not just for herself but so others don’t feel alone.
“Her faith, her residence, those aren’t hidden. She’s using them to build, to encourage, to heal. Motherhood, faith, love, mistakes, triumphs she brings them all together in this memoir. It’s a testimony that no matter how hard the journey, God can turn it into something beautiful.’’
Tommi and Troy both grew up in Trenton, New Jersey and knew each other but didn’t begin dating until Troy’s rookie season with the Miami Dolphins in 1992. They married while he was still with the Dolphins, not knowing that he would eventually return close to home when he signed a free agent deal with the Philadelphia Eagles before the 1996 season.
Troy was not only an All-Pro on the field, but off it as well. He was honored throughout his career as the winner of the Walter Payton Award, the Whizzer White Award, the Bart Starr Award and as The Sporting News’ Man of the Year.
Now finally Tommi tells her story.
“I’ve been wanting to write a book for a good minute now,’’ she said. “I needed to just discipline myself to sit down and write it. Putting my story to paper was part of a healing process for me and also a process of dismantling the shame that I carried.’’
Aside from being a wife and a mother of five, Tommi is also a classically trained chef. That’s where the cookbook part of the book comes into play.
“At the end of each chapter there is a recipe,’’ Tommi said. “So there are nine recipes in the book and then the 10th chapter culminates with a full table. The premise of the book is to teach others how to build their table one dish at a time utilizing all the ingredients from their life. It’s not your traditional cook book where I’m teaching you how to cook.’’
Then she uses a great analogy that sums up the meaning of her book.
“If you’re baking a cake, I’m not just going to eat baking soda, or baking powder by itself,’’ Tommi begins. “But when you mix it with the eggs, and the buttermilk and the flower and the sugar you’re going to come out with a dish that tastes good. You’re utilizing the ingredients that on their own might not taste good. And that’s how life is, right? We have experiences that might be difficult, that might be challenging, that may not feel good. But when you bring it all together that makes us the person we are today.’’
Of course her husband is part of the book. And as she supported him through his playing days and now as a NFL executive, he’s supporting her as an author.
“In the book I talk about how Troy is my person,’’ Tommi said. “He has been connecting in his relationships and promoting for it to be amplified. Everyone, all of his male counterparts have been extremely supporting. And that’s blessed me in a special way just knowing there are these champions who are walking with Troy and working to elevate “The Table of Life’’ and the work I’m doing.’’
The book hits some rough spots along the way, but as Tommi points out everyone has them. It’s how you face them that makes you who you are.
“I talk about three pivotal moments of my life. When I gave birth to my daughter at 12 years old. Being in an abusive relationship and my battle with depression. So the time period when I was in an abusive relationship was throughout high school. Troy and I got married when I was 19, so coming out of that abusive relationship and then being with Troy. He and I both grew up in environments where domestic violence was prevalent. We both viewed life very differently.
“Troy was in the mindset to stay as far away as possible from anything that resembled abuse. And I was determined that was what love looked like. I had seen it since I was 3 years old and nothing came of it. My relative stayed with that person. So at 3 years old I decided that’s what loved looked like. It involved harm. With Troy, going into our marriage, I wanted to be combative when we had disagreements. We really, or I, had to learn real love does not hurt intentionally.
“This book is 100 percent me and it allows people to see how I was able to navigate and journey through to my healing. As adults we tend to tuck parts of our life away. What I learned throughout my life is the things I thought were my dis-qualifiers were actually my qualifiers.
“Those life experiences gave me the ability to be an expert because of what I experienced. All of those ingredients were necessary and vital to who I am today. That’s what I want readers to understand. We don’t have to walk in shame and tuck away to be acceptable to people. We should show up fully embracing who we are in totality so people will get the best person of who we are.’’
